Bad Habits

I know I have bad habits like nursing him in the night and falling asleep while he eats what he wants. I never know how much he eats or how often he eats because I don't wake up enough to really remember what time it was when I looked at the clock last. I might as well stop making such an effort to look at the clock if I can't even remember the times. Oh well. I also like to hold him while he sleeps, so now he won't sleep on his back unless if he is so exhausted and falls asleep on his own like that. It is hard though because he won't sleep in a port-a-crib. I don't know if it is too hard for him or what. And we don't have a real crib yet, so he sleeps with me every night. I know, I know...bad! Mark calls him my cuddle buddy. SO, even though I have all of these bad habits that will spoil Rodney to the max, I don't really want to stop. I figure I only have one baby once in a lifetime. AND, if I have the time and not more children to distribute time to, why not? That is my justification and it makes me feel better about my actions. I will no doubt regret it later, but I have decided to be selfish and possibly self destructive.

p.s. sorry about the rambling.